Rejoice all ye single and all ye hopeful for it’s that time of the year again. The time to mingle, to be invited to parties, to attend those parties, to meet new people, to have crushes and to fall in love. One little problem though: before you have your fairy tale ending, you have to sift through the idiots. If only this part was easy, but we at InOnIt are eternal believers in love and romance. So to spare you some heartache, we’ve come up with a prototype list of guys you shouldn’t date.
Prototype #1: The Pessimist
Let’s face it, life is too short for having someone bitch it out to you day in and day out. So no matter how good looking this bloke is, stay away from the eternal pessimist. He is, if not today, but one day going to suck the joy out of your life. And you girl, definitely don’t want that.
The InOnIt special tip: Scour out the pessimist at a party by talking about a few general things. If he hates everything from Bollywood to the AC vent, you probably want to leave him and his half empty glass and walk on.
Prototype #2: The Bragger
This guy thinks he is God’s gift to womankind. You might find his confidence kind of sexy at first, but nothing is sexy about a bag of chips filled with air. Yup, it’s totally alright for a guy to have an achievement and to talk about that happily. But a bragger doesn’t know where to stop. He also usually considers everything he does an achievement. So move on if you see a guy taking credit for your liver effectively producing bile.
Prototype #3: The Bad Boy
The bad boy is aptly titled that because he is bad for you. We cannot emphasize this enough. He is reckless with his life and his health, and will most likely be reckless with his relationships. Don’t walk into something knowing you might be thrown out.
The InOnIt special tip: The thing with bad boys is, they love to have this aura around them that spells BAD. So you can usually tell by the way they dress, the lazy drawl and bad-ass tattoos; and when you catch these telltale signs, make like a bike and scoot.
Prototype #4: The Way Too Metrosexual
The formal definition of a Metrosexual reads like this: a heterosexual urban man who enjoys shopping, fashion, and similar interests traditionally associated with women or homosexual men.
Now we are all for men knowing an ascot from a cravat, but when they take that knowledge one step further and spend the whole evening obsessing over which looks better, that’s where we draw the line.
There’s nothing seemingly wrong with Metrosexual men, so if that’s your type, please go for it. But for the rest of you who love your mirror too much to share it with anyone, steer clear of this type of guy.
Prototype #5: The Big Baby
Annoying baby talk is one thing, childish behavior a whole other. Unless you really are in the mood to adopt, don’t date the big baby. He’ll get pissed off if he loses to you in Taboo and will cling to you on your girls’ night out. He will need constant mollycoddling and will want all the attention on him. Gosh, we are getting exhausted even listing these qualities. We say you crawl your way out of there as fast as you are acquainted with The Big Baby, actually make that run. Run really fast.
Disclaimer: If you meet a nice guy who has a manageable trace of any of the above mentioned personalities and you still find him attractive, go for it. In fact, you have our blessings. Have a flirty, fun, and fruitful party season and report back with all the “goss”.